An Awaiting Death
by Rhea Carmen
Summary: Tsuna is ill... He's going to die if he keeps using dying will flame... but he didn't told anyone. only himself and Shamal who knew it.. Sucks at the summary.. but the not for the story!  slight 1827...


Minna~! I'm back with a new one-shot… this is my first one-shot.. so please don't be surprised with the sucked story…

Anyway… I'm not really hiatus on the Complicated story.. I've already made the Chapter 6.. but I need to wait for my beta-reader…

Enjoy this story..!

Oh, wait!

Disclaimer : Amano Akira

Warning : BxB, BL, Shounen Ai… Character's death… and Hibari OOC! Tsuna OOC! :p

Once again,, enjoy!

* * *

"Wait, you gotta be kidding me, right? That's a lie, right? It was a joke, right?" Tsuna said, frustrated.

"I know it's hard to accept, but, just like what I said, Tsuna, your body isn't strong enough even for 1 year," Shamal stated, it wasn't his intention to make Tsuna felt uncomfortable, but, the truth is the truth. "I know it's sudden,"

"But… that…," Tsuna was cut-off,

"Tsuna, if you force yourself for using dying-will, 1 year will be too long. It could be 7 months or maybe 3 months the time when you'll be… dead…," Shamal said, his own self was feeling uncomfortable,

"But what about the ten-years-later me? I've manage to live life that long!" Tsuna protested,

"Listen Tsuna, it was only because you didn't fight the Millefiore, and that your future self condition was actually pretty weak and your ten-years-later self was reducing to use such an extreme dying will flame since after the Varia battle," Shamal explained, "the real you, I mean the present you, is fighting the Millefiore, and it need such a big Dying-Will," Shamal said,

Tsuna could barely understand those words that spit out from Shamal's mouth, "what the real diagnose for my… sickness?" He asked,

"After I checked it, due the result, you were using such an extreme degree for dying-will hyper and at such a young age. And now, your body already at its limit since Varia battle. I couldn't see it back then, but, even I knew it, you're still going to die," Shamal said, "if you keep using your flame at such degree, like what I said, 1 year is too long,"

"So… no matter what I do, I'm still going to die?" Tsuna frightened,

"Yeah," Shamal replied, "I think it's the best time for you to tell everyone and get off from the battle," He suggested, "you could live longer,"

"I need some time to think. Please, don't tell anyone about this," Tsuna said as he limply walk outside the room. Shamal could only stare him in sadden.

_I'm really sorry to tell you this, Tsuna, but… what can I do to make you feel much better?_ Shamal stared at the empty glass on the desk. _It's going hard for him to find someone who could talk to, since his that kind of person who can't show his weak side to people him feel closed to._

OoO

"Tsunayoshi," Hibari called,

"Eh-oh? Hi-Hibari-san…, is it the time for training?" Tsuna asked, after waking from his daydreaming,

"…," Hibari felt something wrong with this lovely herbivore, "no it's not. Do you want to tell me something?"

"Oh, I see…," Tsuna mumbled, "no, not in particular, why?"

"Your face didn't look like… usual," Hibari was avoiding using 'happy' word.

Tsuna startled, _Hibari-san…_ He just mumbled in his mind,

"Tsunayoshi? Do you have something in your mind? Share with me," Hibari said as he slowly put his hand on Tsuna's shoulder.

Tsuna couldn't hold his tears. Slowly, the tears began to fall. Hibari a little bit surprised to see his lover's tears. He then hugged Tsuna,

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?" Hibari asked, letting his hug to see his lover face to face. But Tsuna just keep crying, gasping.

Hibari felt so uneasy, and then he wiped those tears that just keep flowing. "Tsunayoshi…," Hibari is worried about Tsuna, trying to calm Tsuna down, he kissed him with a soft kiss,

"mmph..?" Tsuna was surprised. But not so long after that, he's crying again. The kiss just makes him felt so depressed, he had to depart with Hibari's lips, the love that Hibari gave him. He had to depart from his friends, Reborn, Lal, Spanner, Shoichi, the kids, Bianchi, Kusakabe, and his other Guardians. He keeps crying until he was about to run out of the gas.

Hibari departed their lips, knocking his own forehead against Tsuna's, Hibari whispered,

"Tsunayoshi, if you don't want to tell me, its okay, I won't ask it. Just remember, I'll be here for you if you want to. I'll wait," Hibari said, caressing Tsuna's cheek and wipe away those tears,

"Hi-Hibari-san…," Tsuna looked at him. He felt embarrass, guilty to the older boy for making him worry, sad, hopeless, depressed… everything got mixed in his mind. He was filled with anguish.

Tsuna stares at the older boy, the taller boy, the Grown-Up Hibari. _I want to live longer… I want to be with him longer… I don't want to depart from him so soon… I want to be here with everyone… I... I don't want to die!_ He thought deeply.

His eyes watery, Tsuna gulped. He takes Hibari's hand from his cheeks, hold it tightly in front of her chest,

"I'm okay, Hibari-san. It's not a big deal, thank you," Tsuna said. He wishes that Hibari will forget it and didn't question it. Then, Tsuna let go of Hibari's hand and going through the elevator. Tsuna just smile sadly when their eyes meet each other.

_I want to live… to love him… to talk to him… to kiss him… to be by his side… _

_Hibari-san… _

_I'm sorry…_

OoO

"Sawada, be more focused!" Lal yelled,

"Ah, I'm sorry," Tsuna replied. He doesn't have the spirit to fight. And he was only using his small flame. He was too scared if he was using a huge flame, he would die. He always imagines those things.

"Light your flame! It's too small!" Lal shouted,

"uhm, Lal-san, I'm sorry, I have to go," Tsuna runaway to the elevator, leaving the confused Lal alone.

_What's wrong with him? He didn't focus, he had small flame. He lacks of will power! _Lal thought,

.

.

.

"Juudaime, Juudaime, wake up,"

Tsuna stood abruptly. He was sweating a lot. He took a deep breath.

"Juudaime, are you okay?" Gokudera asked in worried. _Lately his boss always having bad dreams,_ he thought.

"I'm.. Hah, haah, I'm okay, Gokudera-kun. What time is it?" Tsuna asked,

"Juudaime, drink some water first, please," Gokudera said as he hand over the glass to Tsuna, "it still 3 a.m.," he continued,

"What? 3? Oh, I'm sorry for disturbing your sleep, Gokudera-kun," Tsuna apologized,

"no,no, no, not at all," Gokudera said. Tsuna chuckled, but then he yawned, "Juudaime, you better back to sleep,"

"Uh-huh, I think I need that," Tsuna said as he laid his head back to the pillow, "good night, Gokudera-kun,"

"Good night, Juudaime," Gokudera said. When he thinks Tsuna already fall asleep, he leaves from the room, heading to kitchen,

_I couldn't sleep. Maybe some walks will clear my head._

"Hayato Gokudera,"

"Lal Mirch? What are you doing?" Gokudera asked.

"I can go to sleep. And you?" Lal asked,

"Me too," Gokudera said as he have a glass of coffee. Then he sits in front of Lal. There's an awkward air. None of them start the conversation. Gokudera unusually quiet, he was worried about his Juudaime. If he didn't wake up due to Tsuna's screams, he would definitely yell at Lal right now.

"Lal," Gokudera called, "Could you please not being so rough to Juudaime? Make it easier for Juudaime,"

Lal was shocked. _This shitty-brat pleaded to me?_ "Why?"

"You, know, I think Juudaime in sort of problem right now. He was waking me up with screams tonight and the other night. I can't ease the pain and Juudaime was shutting himself. I don't know what to do anymore," Gokudera said with soft voice, not angry, not yell.

Lal was stupefied. She felt it too, she felt it too that Tsuna was in sort of problem since he didn't focus that day.

"I… Sawada wasn't focused at today training, too," Lal said,

"Eh? Really?" Gokudera started to panicked. There IS something wrong with his beloved boss,

"He didn't focused and his light were so small," Lal continued,

They stop talking when they heard a step,

"Lal-san? Go-Gokudera-kun?" Tsuna asked in question,

"I'm tired," Lal said as she leaves the kitchen,

"Eh?" Tsuna startled,

"Come on, Juudaime. I thought you were already asleep," Gokudera push Tsuna to leave the kitchen and going to their room,

"Yes, but suddenly I want to pee and I heard someone talking in the kitchen. So I checked it," Tsuna said,

"Alright, I'll accompany you to the toilet, and after that, let's go back to sleep," Gokudera said a little bit hurry. He was nervous after talking about Tsuna with Lal.

"Humm, okay," Tsuna just follow Gokudera's act.

OoO

A few weeks later,

"Tsuna! Gokudera got attacked!" Yamamoto slam the door,

"What?" Tsuna runs as fast as he could to the infirmary, and when he opened the door, "Gokudera-kun! Are you alright?"

"Juudaime! What's up with the sudden visit?" Gokudera said,

"?" Tsuna confused, "I-I came after hearing you're in a serious condition,"

"Eh? There was a fight, but serious condition? Who told you that?" Gokudera asked, "Hey, what nonsense did you tell to Juudaime…," Gokudera turns to glared at Yamamoto,

"Well, I just told Tsuna that you were in a real bad condition after getting attacked…," before Yamamoto finish his line, he was got beaten up by Gokudera,

"Forget that idiot. Anyway, I'm really glad you came all the way here, Juudaime," Gokudera said to Tsuna with puppy eyes,

"Thank goodness, I thought you were going to die…," Tsuna hold his tears,

"Ack! Look at what you did, idiot! You called Juudaime just because this scratch? Juudame is wasting his time, idiot!" Gokudera yelled,

"No, Gokudera-kun, no. as your boss, I wouldn't called it waste of time to look at my guardians," Tsuna said,

"It's okay, Juudaime. I'm fine! Definitely fine! In the end, I'm the one who win the fight!" Gokudera said,

"I see, so you're fine…," Tsuna sighed in relief,

"Of course!" Gokudera show his thumb,

"Its good thing you're all right, Gokudera-kun," Tsuna said. He watched his two best friends fighting each other.

Shamal who in there since the beginning, look at Tsuna. Tsuna head down, looking in nothing particular. His eyes were watery. Shamal could tell that Tsuna was depressed, he looks so down,

Shamal patted Tsuna's shoulder, "It's going to be alright," he said. Tsuna gulped,

"Yes," he answered weakly. Then he left the infirmary.

_I want to see Hibari-san. Even if it going be the last time…,_

.

.

5 hour later,

At the conference room, everyone gathered.

"Tsuna will attack from this side, so they lose their guards around here and then we confused them," Reborn explaining the strategic of the attack, "Tsuna, you'll wait here…," Reborn stopped, "Dame-Tsuna," no response from his student, "Tsuna!" Reborn shouted,

"Ah?" Tsuna wakes up from his mind,

"Dame-Tsuna, not paying attention when our base in danger, you need to be more responsible as the head of family, Tsuna," Reborn said,

"Shut up…," Tsuna said almost whispered. Hibari is the closest, so he heard him and surprised,

"Tsuna? What did you say…," Reborn was cut-off,

"I said shut up! Enough! I don't want to hear it!" Tsuna yelled, "Always 'Tsuna you go'! 'Tsuna you have to do this'! 'You have to do that'! Am I the only one who knows how to fight here? Why you didn't go to? Since you're the strongest Arcobaleno," Tsuna rampaged. He slammed the table. Everyone shocked. They didn't know that their angelic boss could yell.

"Ju-Juudaime, Reborn-san can't go fight 'cause the tri-ni-sette," Gokudera said, trying to calm his boss. Everyone frozen, don't know how to reply,

"That just an excuse for he doesn't have to fight! Have I ever said I want to fight? No! I never want it too!" Tsuna yelled, there's almost a tear, but nobody realize it,

"Tsuna!" Yamamoto called,

"I don't want to do this anymore, I…,"

SLAP!

A slap landed on Tsuna's cheek, a hard one. Tsuna stunned.

"That was over the line, enough," Yamamoto said, hold his own hand. Everyone stiffened.

Tsuna gulped, his head face down. The bangs shadowing his eyes, "Are you telling me to go fight and die, too?" He smiled sadly,

Yamamoto grabbed Tsuna's collar, and pulled it, "You know I don't mean that!" Yamamoto shouted,

"…," Tsuna freeze, "I'm going for a walk,"

Tsuna pulled himself from Yamamoto's hand and walk outside from the room. Everyone still stiffened. _Tsunayoshi…,_ Hibari followed Tsuna walk outside the room. But he didn't found Tsuna.

.

.

.

.

_That was some meeting. What really bugging him actually?_ Hibari questioned. He stepped from the lift to the training room.

_Someone is here,_ Hibari looked around and found alittle body trembled.

"…," Hibari patted, "TSunayoshi…?"

Tsuna turns his head and see his lover's face, "HI-Hibari-san…, are you going to use the room? S-Sorry. People kept coming into my room, so…," Tsuna was cut-off,

"No, it's okay. I was looking for you too," Hibari said,

"I'm…," Tsuna take a deep breath, "This battle, and next time too, people will get hurt if I don't fight," Tsuna said, "saying… something like that during the meeting…," Tsuna's eyes began to watery,

"Ssh, it's okay," Hibari whispered, he hugged the smaller boy, "It's all right," tighter his hug, "Even so…, it's all right, Tsunayoshi," Hibari whispered besides Tsuna's ear. The hot breathe make Tsuna calm. _Tsunayoshi…, what's bugging you?_ Hibari tighten the hug even more. He was so worried since Tsuna cried at the same place.

There's a silence. Tsuna gripped the suit that Hibari's wearing.

"… I don't… want… to fight…," Tsuna stuttered, tears began to flow, "... I don't want… to die…," he hugged back Hibari. Hibari put his hand behind Tsuna's head and pushed it closer,

"Why me…," Tsuna mumbled along his cried. Hibari felt so weak, he couldn't calm his lover. He doesn't know what to say when he himself doesn't know what made the boy cried. All he can do is giving the support.

"Tsuna…, Tsunayoshi…, let me know the problem you're hiding from everyone…," Hibari said with a soft voice. He was afraid if the little boy was going to hate him.

"…Don't want to die…," Tsuna mumbled, he didn't want to tell anyone about his weak side–_not to his close friend_–and mostly, Hibari, his lover.

"Tsunayoshi…," Hibari could only stare at the head of the younger boy.

_Don't you believe in me?_

"Tsuna, I won't let you die…," Hibari said in desperate voice and tighten his hug. Tsuna tighten his grip on Hibari's suit as he cried louder.

_No Hibari-san, you couldn't save me. No matter how hard you try…_

_There's no future for me, even if it was only for 4 months…_

_I'm going to fight. And there's no such miracle…_

_Even so, I believe our love is a miracle…_

_For an herbivore like me, to be loved by carnivore like you… it was amazing memories…_

_I'm happy…_

_I'm truly happy…_

_I don't want to leave your side… but I will do that…_

_Not because I want to… but I have to…_

_I'm sorry…_

_And I'm really grateful for everything…_

_Hibari-san… no…_

_Kyouya…_

_I love you…_

OoO

"Tsuna," Yamamoto called, Tsuna was having his lunch, and "Sorry about yesterday, there was no need for me to hit you like that. I'm so…,"

"Stop, if you talks like that, it's harder for me to apologize," Tsuna said, smiling.

"Eh?" Yamamoto confused,

"I'm sorry too. Let's do our best tomorrow!" Tsuna said cheering his best friend,

"Yeah! Then, see you tomorrow," Yamamoto said in his usual goofy smile. As he walked outside the door, Tsuna look at his empty hand.

.

He closed it, and gripping it tightly.

.

_I'll fight for everyone! One life for the better future is worthy enough._

_Farewell may be unavoidable…_

_But I'll walk this path with everyone, together…_

_And I'm happily accept all of this…_

OoO

The rain pounded the winners' body. Even they got beaten up pretty badly, but they win. Thanks to their powerful boss.

"Tsuna! We won! I can't believe it!" Yamamoto said in hustle. He was covering his hand which got a slight cut.

"Good job, Tsuna," Reborn praised his student.

"Yu did it, Tsuna," Dino said, smile sheepishly.

"you won the battle, congrats," Irie said.

"Juudaime, we won this hell fight! We can go back to the past!" Gokudera said in happiness.

"Boss…," Chrome smiled at his boss with happy face,

"We won to the EXTREME Sawada!" Ryohei shouted.

"Tsuna! We won this battle thanks to Lambo-san!" Lambo said,

"Let's go back to our base now!" Basil said, can't wait to inform this good news,

"Tsunayoshi…," even Hibari didn't say anything further, he smiled for a second.

Tsuna looked at them with blurry eyes. He smiled weakly,

"Tsunayoshi, are you all right?" Hibari asked in worried. He remembered when Tsuna desperately cried to him for this not wanted to fight. He felt uneasy since that time.

"Y… Yeah… Let's g…," Tsuna breath hardly. He stunned. His eyes lid began to close.

"? TSUNAYOSHI!" Hibari shouted as hard as he could when he sees Tsuna's body quickly fall on the wet ground.

Followed by others, they quickly come to Tsuna.

"Tsunayoshi? Tsuna! Wake up!" Hibari said to Tsuna. But there's no response.

"JUUDAIME!"

"BOSS!"

"TSUNA!"

"SAWADA!"

_I'm… happy… for everyone…_

.

.

.

.

Reborn looked so down when he saw the shake from Shamal's head. he opened his mouth, but there's nothing coming from his mouth.

"NO! NO! JUUDAIME!" Gokudera shouted. He can't accept this.

"TSUNA! it's a lie, right? Please, somebody, tell me it was just a joke!" Yamamoto said in frustration. There's no way in hell he believe in it.

"Tsunayoshi…," Hibari said in desperate. _How? How could this happening?_ Everyone else just freeze. They cried, Kyoko, Haru, Lambo, I-pin, Fuuta, Bianchi, Giannini, Irie, everyone. Lal was stiffened. She couldn't react.

"Mi-minna…," Tsuna could barely speak. Everyone froze. Staring at their boss, "I'm happy… don't let me… ruin… our win…" Tsuna smiled weakly, he turns to Hibari,

"Hibari.. no, Kyouya…," _this the first time he/I called me/him with my/his name,_ they both think the same things, "I'm… all right… now… Thank… you…," Tsuna said and tears flowing from his eyes. Then he closes his eyes.

"JUUDAIME!" Gokudera yelled in his cries. _No! This is a lie! A big lie!_

"Tsu..na..," Yamamoto cried. Feeling guilty for hit his innocent boss.

Hibari cover his face, walking quickly outside the room, going to his place. As he walk along the way, there're shed of tears.

_Tsunayoshi… why you never told me? Why?_

_And I folly said that I won't let you die…_

_Tsunayoshi… I love you so much that I cried for your death…_

_You leave me without warnings… no, you warn me but I never noticed it…_

_You always cried… yet I never try harder to make you told me about this thing…_

_Tsunayoshi… I already miss you… your angelic smile… your blushed face… your hot lips… your love…_

_I want to meet you, again…_

_My little herbivore..._

_My beloved boss…_

_Sawada Tsunayoshi… __Il mio amore(my love)…_

_Once again... I want to say goodbye to you properly..._

OoO

Tsuna's funeral filled with anguish. No one's speaking. Everyone sad and couldn't accept this sudden death. Not in this way when the boy sacrifice his own life for fight.

"Guardians, there's a message from your boss," Shamal said, showing an envelope.

"!" everyone looked at him curiously and surprised. Then Gokudera accept the envelope and read it,

_Stand up, everybody. Look at the sky above you. Raise your hands high, see? Even if departed, our hands will be linked together. Even if we lose our way by mistakes, it's okay, don't be discourage by it, don't lose to it. Lives your life beautifully until the end. Remember, our bond is more than enough, see it as a precious thing._

Gokudera cried along the way. He then added,

_Everyone, I'm happy… I love you all…_

_And Kyouya… I love you the most…_

Oo-END-oO

* * *

I'm sorry! Don't kill me, please! I know! I know! 'Why Tsuna have to die?' I know!

But anyway… please review this one-shot… I could make the sequel.. If you want to…

All right… see you at the next story.. err, or Complicated Story…

P.S. : you know.. I myself was crying when I wrote this story... I really did...


End file.
